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Granting a holiday wish-some assembly required

In the season of giving I’m fulfilling the holiday wish of a child in a low-income family. The boy—he’s five, wants either Spiderman action figures or—get this—his first bike. Me, the big softy I am, bought a Spiderman bike. How ingenious and cool is that, right? Add a Spiderman helmet, BOOM. Load up the sleigh and let’s go – until I realized part of this philanthropic gesture would include me assembling the bike.

I wouldn’t describe myself as a man handy with tools or building things. Past experience has taught me to avoid at all costs the purchase of any item on which the side of the box states “some assembly required.” I don’t care if the manufacturer throws in qualifying words such as “some” or “easy.” I only see ASSEMBLY and the brain screams “Run, Kevin. Run like the wind!

Too late, though. To fulfill a child’s wish, I’m on the hook to build a bike.

Friends say “You should assemble it on Facebook Live.”

Are you outta your mind? First, Mark Zuckerberg must have put a time limit on that. I estimate what normally would be an hour-long project will probably consume most of football Sunday. And chances are good the Facebook police would end up pulling my account for the swear words uttered during the process—and the long breaks while first aid is administered to a bashed thumb or some other body part.

But that gave me an idea. The internet. Of course! There are how-to videos for everything on the good old web.  A quick Googling and I found this four-minute video on the Toys R Us website. It makes putting together a child’s bike look so easy. (If you’ve gotten yourself in the same predicament this holiday season, check it out.)

Allen and adjustable wrenches in hand, wish me luck. And stay tuned for updates.

Published inCerebrations